Fake news? No. But the media isn’t perfect.

Fake News has been a major talking point the past few months thanks to a particular person. Oh, who was it? Nope. Name doesn’t ring a bell. Sorry.


As I was saying, fake news is all I seem to read or hear about lately, and I’m calling BS. Now, as I venture further, I will state outright that actual fake news is a major problem. There are a lot of manipulative people out there who create and spread videos, images, and articles that are inaccurate, misleading and a lot of the time completely fabricated and without any merit whatsoever. And it’s not just on the right side, the left are guilty, too, albeit not as much in all honesty, but that’s beside the point. I lost count of the amount of memes or bite-sized clips of Hillary Clinton during the election that were outrageously false. (At least we’ve got some sort of an explanation since as to why there was so much of that, eh?)

What baffles me most is how many gullible people actually fall for this kind of juvenile, overly-simplistic propaganda, because that’s what it is. I’ve had actual conversations and debates with people about a range of certain topics and a lot of their arguments are solely based on a little clip or a picture they saw on social media. Don’t get me wrong, I know people are so obsessed with trawling through their feeds on Twitter and Facebook, and it certainly doesn’t help that a lot of people nowadays don’t actually have the patience anymore to sit back and do some research for themselves. If it doesn’t appear on their timeline, it’s a chore for them to go and look for it. But it’s no excuse. It’s causing a heck of a lot of damage. People see a headline or a meme and immediately take it as a fact.

There has been a big backlash against certain networks by you-know-who’s supporters, and it’s beyond alarming. ABC, BBC, NBC, MSNBC, and CNN are all reputable, trustworthy and fair news organisations. Do they swing left more than right? Yes, probably so, but they still strive to take an unbiased approach and always strive to report facts and shun misinformation and unverifiable resources. Yet a major network what’s-his-face has praised is Fox. A news organisation that is so unbelievably geared to the right. They’ve faced problems after problems over the years for their one-sided, manipulative, and shoddy reporting. And even so, Obama, who rightly had issues with them, never referred to them as the enemy of the American people, yet that’s exactly what the bloke with the dodgy wig has called the majority of the press.


This is alarming the majority of the American people, and rightfully so, as undermining and making an enemy of the impartial press is how dictators get started, yet most Republicans and right-wingers are burying their heads in the sand. (Shout out to John McCain for actually taking a stand). Standing by and saying nothing as man-pumpkin makes these kinds of outrageous and unfounded attacks is unforgivable. If there’s one thing democracy absolutely one hundred percent stands for and requires, it’s the right to have free speech and a free press who have the right to criticise the President and the government.

What stuns me most is how pussy-grabber and his team base so much of what they say ON ACTUAL FAKE NEWS! I mean, you all heard about Kellyanne Conway’s Bowling Green Massacre gaffe, right? And Mr. Eight Times Bankrupt just days ago stated that Sweden had suffered an attack. And then there was the lies about the size of the inauguration crowds which could be disproved by a simple aerial shot. And of course, who can forget this genius moment after the illegitimate President claimed he had the biggest electoral college win since Ronald Reagan:

A substantial victory? Considering you lost the popular vote by almost three million and 77 thousand or so votes split between three states would’ve changed the outcome of the result entirely? I’m gonna say it wasn’t substantial in the slightest. Don’t believe me. Take a look at this:

But I guess it’s fake news, huh?

Now, I’m not saying that the mainstream media is completely innocent and blameless. There’s a big argument that if they hadn’t reported on every. single. damn. thing. Steve Bannon’s bitch said during the campaign that he might have struggled to have won the nomination let alone became President of the United States. It’s funny actually, because he could actually OWE the media for his victory. They spent hours after hours reporting on him and all the outrageous things he said to get attention  and to appeal to those awful deplorables. In comparison, Bernie Sanders was given mere minutes of coverage. Outrageous and infuriating as looking back, he stood the best chance of defeating the orange man-beast, but alas.

Likewise, the media doesn’t help itself as many organisations take political correctness and do a field day with it. It seems some jokes or comments can’t be made without people getting on their high-horse with their faux outrage. It also doesn’t help that they give disgraceful people like Katie Hopkins and Milo Yiannopoulos a platform in the first place. By giving them the headlines, they’re adding fuel to the flames and elevating  and strengthening their pathetic excuses of careers further. These awful, abusive, motor-mouths exploit the media for personal gain and really, the media should know better.

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So, in summary, your honour, the media needs to improve for sure, but they also need our support during this war tiny-hands has waged against them, because where would we be without them?

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I really hope the media and investigative journalists will be the ones to finally expose this would-be daughter-dater and bring him down, because let’s face it, he’s in bed with Russia, and if and when it comes out, he could, in all seriousness, be impeached for treason.
One can hope.

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Baffled.

Oh, hi! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

At least much hasn’t gone on during these past twelve months where I haven’t blogged.

What’s that you say? Oh, yes. It must have slipped my mind. Donald Trump is President of the United States of America. The leader of the free world.

DONALD. TRUMP. IS. PRESIDENT.

It’s been over three months since that awful election night yet I still can’t quite get my head around it.

What on earth went wrong? Sure, Hillary Clinton was often painted as being as bad a candidate for the presidency than Trump (which seems all the more and more ludicrous with each passing day) and it’s now crystal clear that the odds were actually against her what with the hideously unfair, unethical, and quite frankly illegal, FBI interference regarding those damn emails just days before the election. And then of course there’s Russia’s hacking and their attempts to influence the election. And the fact the media is only just now reporting that Trump’s lies are, in fact, well… lies.

But there’s more to it than that. Yes, Hillary  got almost three million more votes (which in most democratic countries means you’ve won the election! Imagine that!) and the Hillary Clinton campaign most certainly dropped the ball and got complacent in the rust belt states, which ended up being her downfall, but over sixty-two million Americans did vote for Trump. I’m sure there are quite a number who might be regretting that now, in fact there’s a Twitter feed dedicated to re-tweeting those who have seen the light, but there are still a large number of Trump followers *COUGH*mindless fanatics*COUGH* who continue to stand-by this atrocious human being.

I mean good Lord above and Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, where do you start? Why on EARTH would you vote for this man unless you’re a sexist or a racist or someone who condones sexual assault or a COMPLETE BLITHERING IDIOT!?

Before I continue further, I must first make clear that I do not wish to be seen as some sort of Hillary lover. I am not. She would not have been my first choice if I was an American. My vote would’ve been for Bernie Sanders. But the way this woman was treated is disgraceful. This is a woman who devoted her entire life to public service and whether you like her as a person, or whether you agree with her politics or not, making out she was as bad as Trump is not only an abomination, but it’s also factually incorrect.

Oh, gawd. Don’t get me started on alternative facts.

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But anyway, let’s get back on topic. Why on earth did anybody vote for this hideous creature!? He bullied his way to get the nomination, he then lied (and bullied some more) during the Presidential campaign; he mocked a disabled reporter; bragged about sexually assaulting women; said outright that the majority of Mexican people are rapists and murderers; refused to rule-out using nukes in Europe; called for all followers of Islam, y’know the tiny religion that only has about 1.6 billion followers, to be denied entry into the country, which is not only racist, despicable, and inhumane, but also goes against the constitution of the United States  (but that’s OK because it’s only Muslims, right Trump supporters?) AND WORST OF ALL HE CALLED MERYL STREEP OVER-RATED! OK, that happened after he was elected, but still. You believe that shit?

And that’s not even the tip of the ice-berg. There was also his bullying and intimidation of Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly; his verbal attack on a deceased veteran’s parents because they spoke out against him; his pick of Mike Pence, a man who has stated that gay people  can be ‘cured,’ for Vice President; his insistence that the election was rigged when he started falling behind in the polls; his refusal to accept the result should he have lost; and the horrifying moment when he stated that he would date his daughter Ivanka if he wasn’t her father. Because that’s normal and not completely creepy in the slightest. But alas, I can’t list everything, because I would be here for a very long time and I have socks to fold, y’know?

In spite of all the many horrible things listed above, he went and secured enough states to win the election. I was on the phone with my dear best friend during the night as the results were coming in and it’s actually quite amusing now to look back and recall how our deepest fears were realised and we very quickly became depressed, furious, and baffled by what we were seeing on-screen.You have to laugh about it, I suppose. Otherwise I’d lose the will to live.

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And now, he’s the President. He’s sitting in the same very office that Obama, Kennedy, and Lincoln sat in. Donald Trump. The reality star. The corrupt businessman who faced lawsuits in the 70’s for refusing to sell properties to African-Americans. The man who paints himself out to be a genius entrepreneur even though he’s been bankrupt six times. The man who adamantly refused on several occasions to rebuff the endorsement of David Duke, a member of the KKK. The man who refused to believe that Obama, the first black President, was born in the United States because let’s face it, he’s black. The man who then went on to accuse Clinton of being the one who started the whole birther movement. AND THE MAN WHO SAID MERYL STREEP WAS OVERRATED! Oh, sorry. Forgot that was after, wasn’t it?

‘BUT GIVE HIM A CHANCE!’ people shouted. ‘HE MIGHT SURPRISE YOU!’ others suggested. ‘HE COULD DO SOME GOOD!’ the naive protested. Well, he’s not even been in office for a month, and it’s not exactly looking good, is it?

Let’s summarise what he’s done already, shall we?

  • Had his pathetic, spineless cronies lie to the American people on dozens of occasions. Even over pointless, trivial things such as the size of his inauguration crowd.
  • Attacked a civil right’s activist, a man who marched with Martin Luther King, ON MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY!
  • His cabinet picks are beyond a joke. A man in charge of the Environmental Protection Agency who once stated he wanted to abolish that same very agency. A woman in charge of Education who doesn’t believe in public education. And I won’t even get started on Flynn. Just go to CNN right this very second to read all about that.
  • His administration failed to mention Jews during their Holocaust tribute. Because y’know, the Jews suffered only a little during that whole thing.
  • Gave the go-ahead to the appalling Dakota Access Pipeline. Because the Native American community hasn’t suffered enough.
  • Signed executive order after executive order because that seems to be the only thing he can comprehend doing in that tiny, uninspired brain of his.
  • Has signed an order to prevent federal funding to Planned Parenthood, because how dare women have the right to decide what happens to their bodies, and how dare they have access to health-care?
  • His continued attack against the media who dare to criticise him, or even those who simply just report facts he doesn’t like.
  • His branding of CNN and other media outlets as ‘fake news.’ An extremely dangerous rhetoric that completely undermines the rights of the press.
  • Signed a disastrous executive order banning Muslims from several countries from entering the United States even though nobody from those countries have committed acts of terror on US soil in decades.
  • The ban omitted several countries, including many the 9/11 hijackers were from, because Trump has business interests there.
  • Claimed the wall he was going to build will now be a fence in some places.
  • Said Mexico will ‘reimburse America’ for the wall later.
  • His opening remarks at the National Prayer Breakfast was all about slating Arnie for his ratings on The Apprentice.
  • And worst of all: claimed Meryl Streep is overrated.

And once again, folks, that’s just tip of the iceberg. Like I said, I have socks.

All of this, of course, has me very worried. I am honestly scared and afraid for the future of this planet with an absolute mad-man like Trump being the leader of the most powerful country in the world. I’ve also been quite distressed, shocked, and taken aback by people who not only defend, but wholeheartedly support this racist, sexist, thin-skinned, shallow, materialistic, swine of a man who basically admitted to sexual assault against women. Even people fairly close to me have spoken out in favour of him and it’s torn a divide not just through the US, but in countries all around the world.

On the other side of the coin, I’ve also been extremely heartened and reassured by the reaction worldwide against his conduct and diabolical policies. There were over three times as many people marching in D.C. for the rights of women, the LGBTQ and  African-American communities, the environment and so on than there were the day before at Trump’s inauguration. And that doesn’t even include the hundreds of protests worldwide where millions participated. It was a pleasure to witness so many people from across the globe coming together for a united purpose.

The simple fact is, the majority do not agree with Trump’s policies. They go against everything the future generation stands for. Equality. Acceptance. Love. Inclusiveness. And the great American notion that all men are created equal.

Trump’s win, as well as the passing of Brexit, is quite simply the final victory of a rhetoric that the world is finding more and more intolerable. The final stand and stomping of the feet of a dying mentality, where those who fear progression are crying out in protest because the next generation to come, and those folks who have raised their children to not remain in the past, are more intelligent, more inclusive, more diverse and quite simply more compassionate than ever before.

And so, good luck to you President Trump. I hope you change your ways and genuinely try to help people. But if you continue the way you are; if you protect and back those who set to destroy this planet for financial gain or repress minorities further by abolishing their rights: know this. You won’t get away with it. You see the resistance on a daily basis. You witnessed the marches first hand. Your fate lies with the people. They will decide whether you prosper and actually become a champion for the little men, or whether you falter and forever remain as quite simply, an embarrassing, illegitimate President who’s afraid of slopes.

Balls in your court.

MOVIE REVIEW: Star Wars: The Original Triology

Hi, folks! I’ve made a commitment this year to watch more movies (because why not? Movies are awesome) and I’ve decided to share a lot of my reviews on here, because I want to use this blog more yet I never know what to write about. I’m going to start with a review of not just one, but THREE films! Stay with me.

I’m probably going to baffle a lot of people when I say this, but the iconic Star Wars films were never a part of my childhood. In fact, I’ve only JUST started to watch through these films properly now.

With that being said, The Force Awakens looks awesome and I really want to watch it, but I should really get through the series first. I know the characters well and I’ve obviously seen bits and pieces as the movies are so ingrained in popular culture, but this is practically my first time watching them.

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Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (1977)

Director: George Lucas
Screenwriter: George Lucas
Producer: Gary Kurtz
Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Alec Guinness, Peter Cushing, David Prowse, James Earl Jones, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker & Peter Mayhew

My take on the first one? It was really good. I wasn’t blown away or anything, but it was a very enjoyable blockbuster and I like the characters a lot. I especially have a soft spot for C-3PO and Chewbacca, and who doesn’t love Han Solo?

If I’m completely honest, the writing’s a bit crummy in places, there’s a few movie clichés and at times it’s very predictable, but it’s fine. I hasten to criticize this series as I really want to love it, but I’ve gotta say how I feel.

I enjoyed how this movie dispensed with filler, it was very plot-driven and for an introduction to this world, that certainly helped make things easier.

I very much enjoyed this though.

MVP: Harrison Ford
Best Moment: The assault on the Death Star
Acting: 6/10 Screenplay: 5/10 Direction: 4/10
Cinematography: 7/10  Editing: 6/10 Production Design: 7/10
Score: 10/10 Sound: 7/10
Costumes: 7/10 Make-Up: 5/10

OVERALL SCORE: 64%

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Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Director: Irvin Kershner
Screenwriters: Leigh Brackett & Lawrence Kasdan, Story by George Lucas
Producer: Gary Kurtz
Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Anthony Daniels, Billy Dee Williams, David Prowse, James Earl Jones, Peter Mayhew, Kenny Baker, Frank Oz & Alec Guinness

I finished watching the second installment of the series and the overall consensus was that it was, once again, very enjoyable. It was certainly an improvement on its predecessor as it seemed to have a bit more depth which I felt was slightly lacking in the previous movie. The predictably of the first film was absent in this one too as there were plenty of twists and turns to keep me surprised, although I did know of two of them, cause y’know, they’re so iconic.

The characters are most certainly what make this franchise what it is. The story isn’t incredible by any means, but for a blockbuster, it’s plenty charming and I understand why it’s so beloved and held so dear for so many millions of people.

There’s a lot to love in The Empire Strikes Back but I have to say, Anthony Daniels’ portrayal of C-3PO is a work of genius. I have a soft spot for Solo and Chewie, of course, and Luke and Vader are a great protagonist and antagonist respectively, but there’s something truly magical about Daniels’ masterful performance as the loveable robot. His comic timing and delivery is spot on and I love how it comes to life when in the midst of all the action.

I would be doing the film a massive disservice if I didn’t mention the mesmerising score by John Williams. He’s just the best, isn’t he?

MVP: Anthony Daniels
Best Moment: “Luke, I am your father.”
Acting: 7/10 Screenplay: 7/10 Direction: 7/10
Cinematography: 7/10 Editing: 6/10 Production Design: 8/10
Score: 10/10 Sound: 7/10
Costumes: 8/10 Make-Up: 6/10

OVERALL SCORE: 73%

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Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)

Director: Richard Marquand
Screenwriters: Lawrence Kasdan & George Lucas
Producer: Howard Kazanjian
Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Anthony Daniels, Billy Dee Williams, David Prowse, James Earl Jones, Peter Mayhew, Kenny Baker, Frank Oz & Alec Guinness

At times this movie really was diabolical, it’s gotta be said. The majority of this film was boring, predictable, and the creatures in Jabba’s lair were highly irritating. A lot of them were just stupid, too. Then you had Luke, who has clearly grown in power, yet couldn’t use the force in any way shape or form to try and fight the creature off, or open the vents and escape. Also, Billy Dee Williams hanging over the deadly man-eating vagina in the ground was unintentionally hilarious. Oh, and do you also expect me to believe that a tribe of teddy bears could defeat the Empire’s Stormtroopers? Give me a break. Don’t get me wrong, I can ignore these kind of things which bother me normally, but they were so overwhelming in this one.

I love John Williams’ score, but was there a need to play the damn Imperial March song EVERY time a Vader scene is imminent? It overuses the effective, beautiful music and undermines its power to frighten and intimidate the audience.

The dialogue was really weak in places, too. The cheerful moments which were meant to be moving were mostly cheesy. The acting was also wooden at times, but these are fine actors who, in all honesty, had a pretty abysmal script to work with. At least Anthony Daniels and Harrison Ford were around to be give their consistently great performances.

The movie picked up towards the last section of the film. I liked the action, Ewoks ambush aside, and the last battle between Luke and Vader was great. But really, that’s about it. I’m not sure I brought Vader’s sacrifice to save his son. It was certainly interesting, but for me the father/son dynamic never really went anywhere. There was a lot of potential to really do something special there, but it didn’t happen.

MVP: Anthony Daniels/Harrison Ford/Mark Hamill
Best Moment: The final battle between Luke and Vader
Acting: 4/10 Screenplay: 1/10 Direction: 2/10
Cinematography: 7/10 Editing: 3/10 Production Design: 7/10
Score: 6/10 Sound: 7/10
Costumes: 4/10 Make-Up: 5/10

OVERALL SCORE: 46%

 

SUMMARY:

I certainly understand why these films are so universally loved and adored and why it means so much to people as the characters are great and these films were hugely ground-breaking and set the way for similar movies of the same scale to follow and be successful, but as someone who can watch these without the nostalgia and love millions of people have for this, I guess I can be open-minded and truthful about what I see.

I did not enter this franchise to be nit-picky and negative. On the contrary, I was really positive and excited going into it, but I’ve gotta be honest about how I feel. As the more I think about it, these films are more style over substance and don’t have a great deal of depth to them, which is fine for a blockbuster, I guess, but I firmly believe sci-fi movies can be just as intelligent and thought-provoking as regular dramas, thrillers, and action movies, but here’s the problem; these aren’t.

Return of the Jedi is definitely the weakest of the trilogy and to be frank, The Empire Strikes Back is the only one I’d call a truly great movie.

I’m still excited for The Force Awakens as George Lucas is out of the picture and I trust that J. J. Abrams has worked his magic and come up with something remarkable.

What is the obsession with reboots?

Winds in the east, mist coming in. Like something is brewing and about to begin. Can’t put my finger on what lies in store. But I fear what’s to happen, all happened before…

I’m an avid reader, but I’m also a massive movie fan and my favourite Disney film of all time is Mary Poppins. It’s always been a movie that’s meant a lot to me. Other Disney classics like The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast and Peter Pan come close, but Mary Poppins has always been my favourite. It’s quite simply Walt Disney’s finest masterpiece. So naturally, the other day, when I read the news that Disney are planning to make a sequel, I was really irritated. Why can’t things just be left alone? It’s a film that will be around for hundreds of years to come and yes, it’s obviously different to the types of Disney films that are around nowadays, but I introduced the film to my seven-year-old cousins last year and guess what? They really enjoyed it. And why wouldn’t they? It’s a mesmerising movie with a breath-taking soundtrack, wonderful performances and as such has rightfully earned it’s place as one of the greatest family films ever made.

As an aspiring writer with what I hope are dozens of original ideas hiding away on my computer, I find it staggering and infuriating at the unoriginality coming out of Hollywood at the moment. The people working in the industry are some of the most talented and creative people in the world, yet all a lot of them seem to be doing, is retreading old ground…

Why exactly are they doing it? To make a quick buck is always the usual answer, but I can understand the potential in bringing back old projects and introducing them to a new audience, but I don’t think it’s needed for Mary Poppins. Not only that, who the hell are they going to cast in the title role? I’m telling you now, the only person I want to see play our beloved Mary is Julie Andrews. Nobody else. Yes, I might be living in the past but when a role is so iconic and so memorable, why would you want anybody else to even try? It’s already happened before with Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka and it’s fair to say, I hated his performance and the movie in general. Gene Wilder and the original film was perfect, so why couldn’t they just leave it be?

Don’t get me wrong, there are some reboots and sequels which make sense, but why do it after all this time has passed and when the movie is still considered one of the greatest ever? Jurassic World was a massive success and rightfully so, but it’s the sort of movie which thrives off and sort of requires future installments to keep it relevant for a new audience. Iconic classics like Mary Poppins however, are best left in the past, and why? Because they’re still relevant.

I’m sure the movie will be good and the new actress to play Mary will likely be very talented, but why isn’t the original and Julie Andrews enough for Disney? They are for pretty much everybody else as the overall reaction I’ve seen regarding this announcement has been negative, so why can’t Disney just realise that perfection shouldn’t be meddled with, or if they’re insistent on bringing a new story to screen, why not do things a bit different and have it be animated?

Regardless to how everybody might feel, I think we can all agree P.L. Travers is likely spinning in her grave knowing Disney are once again touching her works. She hated the original (for some mad reason) so this new movie doesn’t stand a chance, does it?

Oh well. I’ll try and keep an open mind, but I’m not holding my breath.

Well, that’s awkward.

So, the past few days, I’ve been driven mad by internet that stops and starts non-stop and takes forever to load everything. As we’ve had issues with the internet before, I was getting very peed off. Especially considering how much Virgin Media gets from my household a month. I’m acting as if I pay for it myself. I don’t. I guess I’m a cheeky bastard.

Here’s the thing you should know about me… I’m quite impatient, especially when it comes to technology. If things don’t work, it drives me mad. Mainly because I have no idea how to fix it the vast majority of the time.

My irritation eventually got the better of me, so I sent the following to Virgin Media:

I know, I’m awful. But I really was frustrated. The problem is however is that, ahem, I figured out what was causing the internet to go wrong. A few days ago, I brought a wireless mouse. Needless to say, it was interfering with the signal. I discovered this when I turned the mouse off and found that the internet was working perfectly.

So, it was over and done with. Or at least, I thought it was. I woke up the next day and discovered this:

I don’t know what’s worse, that it took me two bloody days to notice that the internet started messing up as soon as I started using my wireless mouse or that I still haven’t sent an apology for calling Virgin Media incompetent rip-off merchants.

Oh well. Nevermind. I’ll just remain a terrible human being. Can you see why I can’t troll celebrities or send people abuse? I’d feel terrible.

FORGIVE ME, RICHARD BRANSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things that grind MY gears.

In the spirit of Christmas, Family Guy jokes and most importantly, my irritable mood today, I’ve decided to write a list of things that are seriously pissing me off to no end lately. So, without further ado, let’s begin:

WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS:

– The conclusion to the TV drama ‘The Missing’. I feel like I was strung along on an eight week love affair filled with amazing tension and excitement, only to be shat on when things were supposed to get really good.

– Ungrateful pets. I gave my rabbits food and plenty of hay yesterday but when I had the absurd idea of stroking my favourite rabbit and giving it some affection, it stomped it’s back leg to tell me to stop. Then there’s my fish in my tropical tanks, who continue to get sick despite the fact I’ve spent so much money on medicine and I tire myself out doing big water changes every week. To add even more insult to injury, my cat keeps shitting on the floor.

– Illiterate people on social media who insist on spelling ‘school’ as ‘skl’ or just otherwise being incredibly lazy. I’ve actually had to come off Facebook for the day as it was seriously starting to get on my nerves.

– Bestselling “authors” who don’t write their book at all and instead use ghost writers. I have one thing to say to you:

– Beards. Seriously what is the obsession with beards!? Especially young people who insist on having them. It doesn’t make you look cool or mature, it makes you look scruffy and stupid. SHAVE!

– Very famous celebrities who spend most of their time campaigning for normal people to donate to various charitable causes. Don’t get me wrong, giving to charity is a great thing, but urging people to give at this time of year when they’re probably finding it tough getting money for Christmas when you have hundreds of millions of pounds/dollars sitting in the bank account? No, sorry, do one.

– People who are unable to take a joke/or get offended by every little thing.

– My mother has taken up the habit lately of hissing in sentences when it comes to saying words that include ‘S’. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING SO MUCH EMPHASIS ON THE LETTER ‘S’? YOU ARE NOT A SNAKE NOR A PERSON WITH A LISP!

– That there’s only one tiny piece of chocolate per day in my advent calender.

– That advent calenders don’t go past the twenty-fifth anymore.

– That I’m almost twenty-two yet still have an advent calender.

– My irritable mood today.

– This blog post.

– EVERYONE.

– EVERYTHING.

Clarkson sums up my mood brilliantly in this hilarious video that ironically, has managed to cheer me up a tad:

Anyway, Merry Christmas, and all that, folks!

Christmas and the Movies.

It’s weird to think that there are some films you can only watch at a certain point in a year. I am, of course, talking about Christmas movies. Watch them any sooner than late October (and even that’s stretching it) and you might find yourself ridiculed by judgmental peers. It’s funny really, as you don’t watch scary/horror films only at Halloween, or rom-coms around Valentines Day. So why do we do it with Christmas movies?

I myself am guilty of this. I remember earlier in the year, when Home Alone was shown on TV. I found myself incredibly irritated that it was being shown when it was no where near Christmas. It just seemed silly. Perhaps it’s just me.

Anyway, I’ve been enjoying the festive flicks and I’ve also watched two considered classics for the first time.

First on the agenda was It’s A Wonderful Life, which I knew about, of course, but had never got round to watching. Long story short, I really enjoyed it. I found myself watching it for a second time yesterday and I loved it even more. It was fantastic. I certainly understand why it’s held in such high regard. It’s not even Christmassy (that’s not a word, but never mind) until the last quarter of the film, but who cares? It was genuinely wonderful, if you pardon the pun.

My reaction to ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’

The other film I watched for the first time was Polar Express. In the past, when I informed people I hadn’t seen it, their mouths would drop in shock and they’d insist “Oh Sam, you’d love it!” So their recommendations, along with my favourite actor, Tom Hanks, having a starring role, gave me high hopes immediately.

SIGH. It goes without saying that the Polar Express is a streaming pile of shit for a movie. I mean, seriously, it’s just awful. The animation is ugly but that’s not the biggest flaw. What I found more offensive was how crap the plot was… because there wasn’t one. Or was there? Did I just miss it? What I witnessed was just a serious of unfortunate obstacles the train has to face over and over and over again. Oh, the little girl lost her ticket. Oh, they’re stuck on ice. Oh, there are hundreds of reindeer blocking the tracks. NO! THAT’S NOT A MOVIE! I REJECT IT!

My reaction to ‘Polar Express’

I don’t want to end this blog post on sour note, so I will just say that I’ve also loved watching Elf, Home Alone (1 & 2) and Love Actually, which are among my favourites. Muppets Christmas Carol is another good’un. And you can’t go wrong with Christmas episodes of Friends or Frasier, but that’s a different thing.

Note to end on: If anyone has a version of the Polar Express which involves the train crashing violently and killing everyone on board, do let me know. That would be a film worth seeing.