Baffled.

Oh, hi! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

At least much hasn’t gone on during these past twelve months where I haven’t blogged.

What’s that you say? Oh, yes. It must have slipped my mind. Donald Trump is President of the United States of America. The leader of the free world.

DONALD. TRUMP. IS. PRESIDENT.

It’s been over three months since that awful election night yet I still can’t quite get my head around it.

What on earth went wrong? Sure, Hillary Clinton was often painted as being as bad a candidate for the presidency than Trump (which seems all the more and more ludicrous with each passing day) and it’s now crystal clear that the odds were actually against her what with the hideously unfair, unethical, and quite frankly illegal, FBI interference regarding those damn emails just days before the election. And then of course there’s Russia’s hacking and their attempts to influence the election. And the fact the media is only just now reporting that Trump’s lies are, in fact, well… lies.

But there’s more to it than that. Yes, Hillary  got almost three million more votes (which in most democratic countries means you’ve won the election! Imagine that!) and the Hillary Clinton campaign most certainly dropped the ball and got complacent in the rust belt states, which ended up being her downfall, but over sixty-two million Americans did vote for Trump. I’m sure there are quite a number who might be regretting that now, in fact there’s a Twitter feed dedicated to re-tweeting those who have seen the light, but there are still a large number of Trump followers *COUGH*mindless fanatics*COUGH* who continue to stand-by this atrocious human being.

I mean good Lord above and Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, where do you start? Why on EARTH would you vote for this man unless you’re a sexist or a racist or someone who condones sexual assault or a COMPLETE BLITHERING IDIOT!?

Before I continue further, I must first make clear that I do not wish to be seen as some sort of Hillary lover. I am not. She would not have been my first choice if I was an American. My vote would’ve been for Bernie Sanders. But the way this woman was treated is disgraceful. This is a woman who devoted her entire life to public service and whether you like her as a person, or whether you agree with her politics or not, making out she was as bad as Trump is not only an abomination, but it’s also factually incorrect.

Oh, gawd. Don’t get me started on alternative facts.

Image result for kellyanne conway gif

But anyway, let’s get back on topic. Why on earth did anybody vote for this hideous creature!? He bullied his way to get the nomination, he then lied (and bullied some more) during the Presidential campaign; he mocked a disabled reporter; bragged about sexually assaulting women; said outright that the majority of Mexican people are rapists and murderers; refused to rule-out using nukes in Europe; called for all followers of Islam, y’know the tiny religion that only has about 1.6 billion followers, to be denied entry into the country, which is not only racist, despicable, and inhumane, but also goes against the constitution of the United States  (but that’s OK because it’s only Muslims, right Trump supporters?) AND WORST OF ALL HE CALLED MERYL STREEP OVER-RATED! OK, that happened after he was elected, but still. You believe that shit?

And that’s not even the tip of the ice-berg. There was also his bullying and intimidation of Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly; his verbal attack on a deceased veteran’s parents because they spoke out against him; his pick of Mike Pence, a man who has stated that gay people  can be ‘cured,’ for Vice President; his insistence that the election was rigged when he started falling behind in the polls; his refusal to accept the result should he have lost; and the horrifying moment when he stated that he would date his daughter Ivanka if he wasn’t her father. Because that’s normal and not completely creepy in the slightest. But alas, I can’t list everything, because I would be here for a very long time and I have socks to fold, y’know?

In spite of all the many horrible things listed above, he went and secured enough states to win the election. I was on the phone with my dear best friend during the night as the results were coming in and it’s actually quite amusing now to look back and recall how our deepest fears were realised and we very quickly became depressed, furious, and baffled by what we were seeing on-screen.You have to laugh about it, I suppose. Otherwise I’d lose the will to live.

Image result for laugh cry gif

And now, he’s the President. He’s sitting in the same very office that Obama, Kennedy, and Lincoln sat in. Donald Trump. The reality star. The corrupt businessman who faced lawsuits in the 70’s for refusing to sell properties to African-Americans. The man who paints himself out to be a genius entrepreneur even though he’s been bankrupt six times. The man who adamantly refused on several occasions to rebuff the endorsement of David Duke, a member of the KKK. The man who refused to believe that Obama, the first black President, was born in the United States because let’s face it, he’s black. The man who then went on to accuse Clinton of being the one who started the whole birther movement. AND THE MAN WHO SAID MERYL STREEP WAS OVERRATED! Oh, sorry. Forgot that was after, wasn’t it?

‘BUT GIVE HIM A CHANCE!’ people shouted. ‘HE MIGHT SURPRISE YOU!’ others suggested. ‘HE COULD DO SOME GOOD!’ the naive protested. Well, he’s not even been in office for a month, and it’s not exactly looking good, is it?

Let’s summarise what he’s done already, shall we?

  • Had his pathetic, spineless cronies lie to the American people on dozens of occasions. Even over pointless, trivial things such as the size of his inauguration crowd.
  • Attacked a civil right’s activist, a man who marched with Martin Luther King, ON MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY!
  • His cabinet picks are beyond a joke. A man in charge of the Environmental Protection Agency who once stated he wanted to abolish that same very agency. A woman in charge of Education who doesn’t believe in public education. And I won’t even get started on Flynn. Just go to CNN right this very second to read all about that.
  • His administration failed to mention Jews during their Holocaust tribute. Because y’know, the Jews suffered only a little during that whole thing.
  • Gave the go-ahead to the appalling Dakota Access Pipeline. Because the Native American community hasn’t suffered enough.
  • Signed executive order after executive order because that seems to be the only thing he can comprehend doing in that tiny, uninspired brain of his.
  • Has signed an order to prevent federal funding to Planned Parenthood, because how dare women have the right to decide what happens to their bodies, and how dare they have access to health-care?
  • His continued attack against the media who dare to criticise him, or even those who simply just report facts he doesn’t like.
  • His branding of CNN and other media outlets as ‘fake news.’ An extremely dangerous rhetoric that completely undermines the rights of the press.
  • Signed a disastrous executive order banning Muslims from several countries from entering the United States even though nobody from those countries have committed acts of terror on US soil in decades.
  • The ban omitted several countries, including many the 9/11 hijackers were from, because Trump has business interests there.
  • Claimed the wall he was going to build will now be a fence in some places.
  • Said Mexico will ‘reimburse America’ for the wall later.
  • His opening remarks at the National Prayer Breakfast was all about slating Arnie for his ratings on The Apprentice.
  • And worst of all: claimed Meryl Streep is overrated.

And once again, folks, that’s just tip of the iceberg. Like I said, I have socks.

All of this, of course, has me very worried. I am honestly scared and afraid for the future of this planet with an absolute mad-man like Trump being the leader of the most powerful country in the world. I’ve also been quite distressed, shocked, and taken aback by people who not only defend, but wholeheartedly support this racist, sexist, thin-skinned, shallow, materialistic, swine of a man who basically admitted to sexual assault against women. Even people fairly close to me have spoken out in favour of him and it’s torn a divide not just through the US, but in countries all around the world.

On the other side of the coin, I’ve also been extremely heartened and reassured by the reaction worldwide against his conduct and diabolical policies. There were over three times as many people marching in D.C. for the rights of women, the LGBTQ and  African-American communities, the environment and so on than there were the day before at Trump’s inauguration. And that doesn’t even include the hundreds of protests worldwide where millions participated. It was a pleasure to witness so many people from across the globe coming together for a united purpose.

The simple fact is, the majority do not agree with Trump’s policies. They go against everything the future generation stands for. Equality. Acceptance. Love. Inclusiveness. And the great American notion that all men are created equal.

Trump’s win, as well as the passing of Brexit, is quite simply the final victory of a rhetoric that the world is finding more and more intolerable. The final stand and stomping of the feet of a dying mentality, where those who fear progression are crying out in protest because the next generation to come, and those folks who have raised their children to not remain in the past, are more intelligent, more inclusive, more diverse and quite simply more compassionate than ever before.

And so, good luck to you President Trump. I hope you change your ways and genuinely try to help people. But if you continue the way you are; if you protect and back those who set to destroy this planet for financial gain or repress minorities further by abolishing their rights: know this. You won’t get away with it. You see the resistance on a daily basis. You witnessed the marches first hand. Your fate lies with the people. They will decide whether you prosper and actually become a champion for the little men, or whether you falter and forever remain as quite simply, an embarrassing, illegitimate President who’s afraid of slopes.

Balls in your court.

What is the obsession with reboots?

Winds in the east, mist coming in. Like something is brewing and about to begin. Can’t put my finger on what lies in store. But I fear what’s to happen, all happened before…

I’m an avid reader, but I’m also a massive movie fan and my favourite Disney film of all time is Mary Poppins. It’s always been a movie that’s meant a lot to me. Other Disney classics like The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast and Peter Pan come close, but Mary Poppins has always been my favourite. It’s quite simply Walt Disney’s finest masterpiece. So naturally, the other day, when I read the news that Disney are planning to make a sequel, I was really irritated. Why can’t things just be left alone? It’s a film that will be around for hundreds of years to come and yes, it’s obviously different to the types of Disney films that are around nowadays, but I introduced the film to my seven-year-old cousins last year and guess what? They really enjoyed it. And why wouldn’t they? It’s a mesmerising movie with a breath-taking soundtrack, wonderful performances and as such has rightfully earned it’s place as one of the greatest family films ever made.

As an aspiring writer with what I hope are dozens of original ideas hiding away on my computer, I find it staggering and infuriating at the unoriginality coming out of Hollywood at the moment. The people working in the industry are some of the most talented and creative people in the world, yet all a lot of them seem to be doing, is retreading old ground…

Why exactly are they doing it? To make a quick buck is always the usual answer, but I can understand the potential in bringing back old projects and introducing them to a new audience, but I don’t think it’s needed for Mary Poppins. Not only that, who the hell are they going to cast in the title role? I’m telling you now, the only person I want to see play our beloved Mary is Julie Andrews. Nobody else. Yes, I might be living in the past but when a role is so iconic and so memorable, why would you want anybody else to even try? It’s already happened before with Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka and it’s fair to say, I hated his performance and the movie in general. Gene Wilder and the original film was perfect, so why couldn’t they just leave it be?

Don’t get me wrong, there are some reboots and sequels which make sense, but why do it after all this time has passed and when the movie is still considered one of the greatest ever? Jurassic World was a massive success and rightfully so, but it’s the sort of movie which thrives off and sort of requires future installments to keep it relevant for a new audience. Iconic classics like Mary Poppins however, are best left in the past, and why? Because they’re still relevant.

I’m sure the movie will be good and the new actress to play Mary will likely be very talented, but why isn’t the original and Julie Andrews enough for Disney? They are for pretty much everybody else as the overall reaction I’ve seen regarding this announcement has been negative, so why can’t Disney just realise that perfection shouldn’t be meddled with, or if they’re insistent on bringing a new story to screen, why not do things a bit different and have it be animated?

Regardless to how everybody might feel, I think we can all agree P.L. Travers is likely spinning in her grave knowing Disney are once again touching her works. She hated the original (for some mad reason) so this new movie doesn’t stand a chance, does it?

Oh well. I’ll try and keep an open mind, but I’m not holding my breath.

Things that grind MY gears.

In the spirit of Christmas, Family Guy jokes and most importantly, my irritable mood today, I’ve decided to write a list of things that are seriously pissing me off to no end lately. So, without further ado, let’s begin:

WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS:

– The conclusion to the TV drama ‘The Missing’. I feel like I was strung along on an eight week love affair filled with amazing tension and excitement, only to be shat on when things were supposed to get really good.

– Ungrateful pets. I gave my rabbits food and plenty of hay yesterday but when I had the absurd idea of stroking my favourite rabbit and giving it some affection, it stomped it’s back leg to tell me to stop. Then there’s my fish in my tropical tanks, who continue to get sick despite the fact I’ve spent so much money on medicine and I tire myself out doing big water changes every week. To add even more insult to injury, my cat keeps shitting on the floor.

– Illiterate people on social media who insist on spelling ‘school’ as ‘skl’ or just otherwise being incredibly lazy. I’ve actually had to come off Facebook for the day as it was seriously starting to get on my nerves.

– Bestselling “authors” who don’t write their book at all and instead use ghost writers. I have one thing to say to you:

– Beards. Seriously what is the obsession with beards!? Especially young people who insist on having them. It doesn’t make you look cool or mature, it makes you look scruffy and stupid. SHAVE!

– Very famous celebrities who spend most of their time campaigning for normal people to donate to various charitable causes. Don’t get me wrong, giving to charity is a great thing, but urging people to give at this time of year when they’re probably finding it tough getting money for Christmas when you have hundreds of millions of pounds/dollars sitting in the bank account? No, sorry, do one.

– People who are unable to take a joke/or get offended by every little thing.

– My mother has taken up the habit lately of hissing in sentences when it comes to saying words that include ‘S’. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING SO MUCH EMPHASIS ON THE LETTER ‘S’? YOU ARE NOT A SNAKE NOR A PERSON WITH A LISP!

– That there’s only one tiny piece of chocolate per day in my advent calender.

– That advent calenders don’t go past the twenty-fifth anymore.

– That I’m almost twenty-two yet still have an advent calender.

– My irritable mood today.

– This blog post.

– EVERYONE.

– EVERYTHING.

Clarkson sums up my mood brilliantly in this hilarious video that ironically, has managed to cheer me up a tad:

Anyway, Merry Christmas, and all that, folks!

Celebrity Baby Names and How They Irk Me So

That’s right. I’m going there with this one. Celebrity baby names. I mean, what the hell are some of those names about? I’m not going to do a Katie Hopkins and judge people on their names, that’s barbaric, but c’mon, there are some ridicolous and downright cruel ones out there.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of names that are quite unique. I also get the appeal at using nice old fashioned names like Archie or Stanley, but those are names. There are some celebrities out there who feel the need to give their children absurd names just to ensure they’re a one-off. They couldn’t be seen calling their children Amy or Ben or Craig or Diane or Eric or Francesca or Gia or Hannah or Isabelle or James, could they? Did you sense a recurring pattern there? Yes, they’re ALL names.

Gender swapping with names doesn’t bother me either. Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis (who voices the ugly Meg on Family Guy which is funny as she looks like a Greek Goddess in real life) have recently had a baby girl which they called Wyatt. Do I think it’s nice? No, not particularly, but that’s more of a matter of opinion. At least it’s a name.

It’s those that aren’t and should never ever be names that piss me off so much. Jermaine Jackson, brother of Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson and star of the Jackson 5, who grew up on Jackson Street (actually true) named one of his sons Jermajesty. That’s just all kinds of wrong.

The worst of the worst has to go to North West. I mean seriously? SERIOUSLY? It’s like Kim and Kanye got together and deliberated on what name for their daughter could generate the most discussion and publicity. Pardon my French, but it’s fucking appalling and to be honest, I think it’s a form of child cruelty. That poor girl has to grow up with that stupid title. That’s what it is. It’s a title. Not a name. I’m not saying they don’t love their daughter, but for crying out loud, it’s not acceptable!

North West, I despair. Apple Paltrow doesn’t seem so bad now.

No, no, that’s still pretty bad.

My issue with Bubble and Squeak.

For as long as I can remember, my family have been eaters of a dinner that I have an irrational hatred for: Bubble and Squeak. If you don’t know what it is, it’s basically a meal made up of left-over vegetables from a roast dinner, but instead of eating them as they are, they’re instead fried and mashed together. My dislike for this meal is irrational to everybody else, of course, but not for me. I’ll try and explain why.

Basically, my main problem is this: aside from the fact you’re practically eating just a slightly altered dinner to the one you recently had (normally just the day before), you’re also changing the dinner in a negative way. Roast dinners are perfectly nice and fine, so why meddle with it by throwing it all together? Why not just have the same meal again if you’re insistent on not wasting what’s left over?

Roast dinner debris.

Why do this to the roast dinner? What has it done to deserve this? You wouldn’t make a burger or pizza and then blend and mash it all up. It might taste fine, but you’ve wrecked it. It’s like having a lovely spare pie and then beating it to death the following day before eating the remains. This is just an example, of course. If you actually obliterated a pie then you’d be a despicable human being.

Don’t get me wrong, this dinner made sense back in the day when people had to ration and it still makes sense if you need to save money, but when you don’t, it just seems pointless. My mum actually suggested I eat Bubble and Squeak the other day. The gif below is probably a pretty accurate picture of what my face looked like:

All of this could probably stem from my indifference towards most vegetables (which is why I call myself the world’s worst vegetarian) but I still don’t understand why people do it. You’re basically eating an inferior roast dinner, one you feed to babies and very old people.

Anyway, this rant was a bit ‘first world problems’ of me, but I think I’ve made my point.